Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Third Appt

So we have a Miracle right....Wrong!!!! January 15th 6:30 am were on our way to Hermann in the Medical center...we stayed at my sister and brother in law's house the night before thinking it would be easier to get through traffic and stuff...NOPE NOT AT ALL! Thanks Houston Traffic...your horrible...but on a good note, I have an amazing sister and Brother in law that are so supportive and wonderful and they kept Brody for us that day....

So we FINALLY get there through the rain, cold and backed up traffic...We walk in to the Hospital and this wonderful woman named Courtney greets us and just takes my hand and is so kind, warm and understanding. She takes us back to the ultrasound room, ( we have two appts this day the Fetal appt to check Brynn's organs and growth and Echo Cardiogram) So the Fetal appt is first...Great here we go again...I should be used to exposing myself, but when your stomach looks like the Texas road map and your " Christan fish" tattoo that you have on your hip has turned in to a WHALE....it's a little embarrassing! LOL But here we go again..Pull the shirt up, pants down and goop me up, I am ready!!
  This ultra sound takes about 45 minutes also...the tech is really sweet. After she is done she sends in the Fetal Dr...We really liked him very kind, yet straight forward. He told us he agreed with the doctor we had at the last appt that he didn't really feel it was HLHS but we needed to go get the Echo cardiogram done first and then come back to see him after we were done there, so we could discuss there findings and what the game plan on delivery was. So Courtney is waiting for us smiling and walking us over to our Echo appt.

SERIOUSLY....AGAIN more goop and exposure...I am going to become a nudest before long with all this "hanging out!!!" LOL We start the echo cardiogram...the Tech is very nice she is bubbly and just relaxing...it's very dark and quite and warm in this room...nice place to take a nap...I think I even dosed off a second...she is very intense as to what she is doing, this has gone on for about and hour, when the Pediatric Cardiologist walks in....She sits down takes the   wand of the machine and continues to look over Brynn's Heart...after about 15 minutes I am so relaxed thinking everything will just fine....but then all of sudden I hear her tell her Tech..." ok so this valve measures what? ok and right down Hypo plastic...and this is what measurement is what?" UMMMMM EXCUSE ME WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!!....I look at her and I know exactly what I heard....she turns to me and says hold on one moment and I will draw you a pictures....WHAT THE WORLD...IM NOT 5 WOMAN TELL ME WHAT YOU SAID AND THEN YOU CAN BE THE ART TEACHER!!....She finishes what she is doing and gets a diagram and starts drawing a picture of Brynn's Heart...basically telling us that is looks like this is HLHS and that there needs to be growth in the Mitrual  Valve for things to look better....all I can think is BREATHE....BREATHE....BREATHE but I can't I catch my breath, I can move, I can't do anything...then it hits me....the gut wrenching, bottom of your stomach whole body movement cry....I don't think I have ever cried so hard, so loud in my life.

My poor husband, he was amazing....He got up from the Chair grabbed me and didn't let me go. Here I am devastated as I am sure he is to, yet he only worries about me( if you don't know already HE IS AMAZING!!!) God really gave me the most amazing partner in life when he gave me Chase.This news was total shock to us, we thought we were in the clear of HLHS, but now were not....again...I start pleading with God in my mind..." Lord, please this can't be...you were supposed to work a miracle, we were told something different already two weeks ago. WHY GOD WHY?" I cried for a good 15 minutes..I think cry is an understatement....I was is hysterics. So as I am crying the cardiologist asks me if I have any questions....REALLY, RIGHT NOW YOUR ASKING THIS...of course I have questions, Millions...but I can't even force my mouth to take shape to speak...I was numb again.

What do you say when you get this kind of news...it's not fair, I don't understand...why did God choose us for this? What about Her is she OK in there now... then the word is spoken..SURGERY....scariest word ever when dealing with your children....But this is what we are faced with. SO as of now we are dealing with HLHS. She will have open heart surgery with in the first week of life and then follow up with at least two more surgery's with in the First two years of life. Chase and I believe in our amazing God, we know is is might and we know he has a plan....just think of all of you praying for her already...God loves when we come to him and give him all glory and troubles...so that is exactly what we are doing. We know that no matter what, this is God's plan and we trust him 100%.

WE ARE going to Texas Children's tomorrow kind of for a second opinion but really just to see which hospital we feel is the best fit for our situation. Please be praying for the Doctors to have a clear view of her heart and be able tell us exactly what is going on. WE thank you for following this blog, the prayers and support... Please keep them coming. If you have questions please ask we don't mind!!! We will update tomorrow on what they tell us at Texas Children's. God bless each one of you!!!

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